Derez

Derez: short for Deresolution; a term from the Disney series Tron which refers to someone being dissolved. For a computer program, deresolution equates to death.

Weird way to start a post, I concur, but I use it for two reasons: 1) the song from Tron: Legacy inspired by the term is a favorite and 2) death doesn’t mean the end of all things, just the end of something. Whether human life or that of a computer program, all things are energy and energy never dies.

If you’ve been following my blog for the last year or so then you know that I left my job at CBS Radio in September of 2009 to finish graduate school full time. I’ve kept busy since then with consulting work, an internship and volunteering, but otherwise my days have been filled with job hunting, wedding planning and going to the gym. On the positive side, unemployment as given me the freedom to take the reigns with wedding planning and enabled me to stretch my event planning muscles in ways I haven’t done in YEARS.  Next weekend we head to Roanoke and will hopefully walk away with a venue, caterer + menu, baker and photographer! And now I also have the time to focus on getting healthy as working AND going to grad school full time didn’t really let me exercise. Using my high school buddy’s Labor Day 2010 wedding as the excuse and taking inspiration from the guy who lost 120lbs running, I started last March to shed some pounds. Since then I’ve lost about 40lbs and I’m another 10lbs from my goal. The best part, it’s really helped increase the benefits of the rehab I went through after the accident in 2006. My ability to twist, lift, walk, stand, etc was incredibly reduced after the accident, so I got kinda big. Big for me, anyway. And seeing myself in photos after my engagement, I just wasn’t happy. But now my movement has increased, I can walk longer (run slightly), and I’m holding around 185lbs! With 7-months to go, I think I can do this.

As for the job hunt: if you read my last post “No Bro Code In Job Hunting” then you know my thoughts on the entire process. It’s hopeful, but ultimately about the chemistry. It’s either there or not. More local job postings have appeared in my field of interest since January, which is great, yet the answers have been mostly the same – “thank you for your interest, BUT…” That response would make anyone, similar to dating, think about giving it up for a little while. Trying doing the solo thing, but I like working in a team environment. I like going into an office. Most importantly, I’m about to start a family and the weight of it is beginning to wear.

Personally, I’m all for equality. I don’t think that if two people have the same qualifications and are doing the same job, that one person should not get paid more than the other. If our lifestyle and responsibilities allowed us to, I’d happily be a stay-at-home Dad and take care of the kids I will one day have.

Reality dictates, however, that I need to get back to work.

Recently I re-found a digital agency, Modea, in Blacksburg, Va (located 45min from my hometown) with a surprising client list and numerous glowing reviews online. Their employees tout the company’s belief that individual success is tantamount to the company’s success and that digital marketing isn’t just about selling consumable materials, but also about ensuring good works. I’ve longed for an environment like this and never imagined that I would find it so close my old home. Luckily they reached out and I had a phone interview Tuesday last. If I progress in the process, I face 1-2 more phone interviews before I meet them in-person. If selected, I will take part in a 3-month trial in which I will work full-time in multiple departments to learn the ins-and-outs of the agency, while they learn what I can do and, most importantly, where I might fit. Ideally I don’t want to be a part from my fiancee or our furry “daughter” for 3-months, but for the opportunity to work with people that really seem to get what digital communication is about – connection, positive impact, employee support – and with $600 left in the bank, I’ll do whatever it takes. I have family I can stay with nearby or an old friend who lives 2-3 blocks away from the office who has a spare bedroom. The job equals hope right now, and I can’t stop checking my phone and e-mail for any potential missed messages. With SXSW starting tomorrow, and I know the gentleman I interviewed with is going, the wait for contact may be long, but that’s ok. Right now, I have hope.

I’ve also been applying for other jobs, some local some not, as I’m not ready to put all my eggs in one basket. But of the companies and marketing agencies I’ve applied too, only three have gotten me so jazzed by the prospect of going to work there that I started apartment hunting and putting together moving plans. I’ve even sent out some feelers for volunteer work at places like the Asheville ActionFest next month, but soon, I fear, I may have to apply for jobs just to maintain rather than because they excite me, push me or enable me to be a part of something great. My fiancee and I aren’t “money” people, but it would sure be nice to get by just a little easier. And if it means being “on my own” for a few months so that I can ease her burden, I’ll do it.

No matter what happens, life keeps moving forward. It never stops whether you get derezzed or not. And even if you do, the energy keeps moving. So the key is to keep moving. Sure, one path may get blocked or rocky, but never do they just end. Nothing ends.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: bring it. Life kinda sucks, but let’s do this. Whether it be through internships or volunteer work, just bring it. I’m ready.

Video (Clip) of the Week
“Dream Sequence: Zombie Apocalypse” from the episode “Bombshells” – House, Monday at 8p on Fox

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