Been a busy two months.

I won’t get into all of it because a recounting of every detail would make this the post that never ends, and it’s truly not that interesting. So the highlights:

Back in March, my fiancee and I went to Roanoke, Va to visit with some vendors, check out a venue and try to finalize a LOT of details for our wedding. After three days of running back and forth to meetings, we left knowing that we are highly compatible (marriage test) and with the name of our baker. The following week we settled on the venue and another month & a half for the caterer. The budgets small and quickly fleeting, but we think we’re putting together a really fun time for everyone. Hell – what’s important is the wedding. After that, it’s just feeding people and dancing and I DARE YOU to find someone who won’t have fun at this. Gonna be hard.

I don’t know what I can & can’t share about the wedding, but I will just say that I was honored to be invited to attend. There are few friends for whom I would do virtually anything, and this was one of those. It was great being able to spend the afternoon with him, his bride & small band of friends at Arcade in Asheville as we waited for the Detention Center to open. It was the first time I’d seen him in years, and I got to hear about his adventures overseas. It was a great afternoon and they make a lovely couple, not to mention a powerful combination of dorks. Can’t wait to see the first child with his multi-colored mohawk (no rush). Immediately following the ceremony they left and (no joke) I got sick: Illness #1.

I got better in time to travel to Asheville to work three days at ActionFest. Luckily I have friends in the area and one(M) offered his couch as a bed. I haven’t spent real 1-on-1 time with M, so it was great to spend some time just talking and not about video games. I spent the majority of my time working the hallways making sure folks were headed to the right theater, but I proved my value by coming up with a system for easier headcounting, helping with a prank on Michael Jai White, and assisting on the VIP food run. I meet some really interesting folks, made some new friends & contacts and even made it to one movie: Bunraku – which you all must see. Absolutely amazing.

Shortly after that, Illness #2.

The first was bad, but manageable. The second was painful & body wrenching, but worst of all – poorly timed. It was the week before my in-person interview for an internship and I had a presentation to finish and practice. Not so easy to do with a 102 temp. What’s that? No idea what interview I’m talking about? Let me take a step back.

(Knowing the difference between omission & discretion, some details will be left out.) Back in February I found a marketing company called Modea based in Blacksburg, Va (30-45min from my hometown) that had several openings. I’d heard of the company while living in Maryland, but with graduate school still going on, I couldn’t get serious about any of the openings. I dug their non-profit work with Virginia Tech and the Lyric and having a “Choose Your Own Adventure” opening option certainly piqued my interest. This time I applied. Several days later I was contacted about setting up a phone interview with one of the Senior Strategic Planners. We had a great conversation (so I thought) ranging in topics from where we grew up, what projects I’m proud of, what projects I appreciate of theirs, their business vision and employee encouragement. Frankly I couldn’t have asked for a better company to even talk too. That was March. In April I traveled to Blacksburg to give a “relevant” 30min presentation to a room full of Modeans, followed by 2 hours of interviews, break for lunch, and then another 1-2hours of interviews. Given that I’d been sick and barely able to keep food in my system, not to mention walk, the week prior, I was a wreck. But I think it was the best way I could have prepared because I was geared up and ready when the I went in to speak with them. I did my best to be focus my answers and be the best applicant I could be, but instead I was just myself. No games, no real filter, everything just flowed naturally. Apparently it did the trick because two weeks from today I will start as a 3-month Marketing Intern for Modea. I’ll be moving in with a friend and do my best to learn as much as I can and try to show them my value as a potential employee.

It’s not the first time I’ve moved away from Crystal for a time, grad school helped with that, but with the wedding on the horizon it’s not ideal. Luckily I’ll be able to take my Xbox 360 with me and she’s borrowing her brother’s, so we’ll be able to talk over Live w/o cell phones and I can play games with her, my roommate brother (her’s too) and our other friends. Essentially, it’ll help me stay connected to her while I’m away. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. As of this writing, this is the first job w/ a paycheck in over 1.5 years. The company is great, the employees are looked after and just a smart & fun group of folks. I can’t wait to start so I can immerse myself in the culture and start learning about what they do, but simultaneously trying to enjoy every moment left in Charlotte with my fiancee and my “daughter”.

Seriously, how can I leave the cuteness?

So that’s what’s been going on. Phew. I’ll do my best to stay current with my posts, at least once a month if I can. If nothing else, I’ll try to keep them less “War & Peace” sized.

Be well everyone and wish me luck!

Video of the Week
“Chuck Vs Agent X” – Chuck, Monday at 8p on NBC

I intend to fill you in on as much as I can soon, but for now: FIGHT!!!

Please read the article in full and then share it with others.

~~~
From Fenwick to Fairfax Detention Center in a Flash:

GMU Police take it too far, for the last time

Written by Sarah Evans, George Mason University

The following account is that of a friend and coworker.  I have decided to publicize this incident because it impacts me as a student and as a strong believer in social justice.   I think it’s important to speak up on his behalf.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 was like any other weekday at George Mason University. One student’s quest for an empty study room was met after a long search in Fenwick Library.  Little did he know picking that study room, that day would forever change his life.

Abdirashid Dahir, a senior at George Mason University, had searched high and low, Tuesday afternoon, to find a study room in Fenwick to work on his research paper, due for midterm evaluations.  Finally, finding one on the third floor, Abdi settled in and set up his things to prepare for a long work period.  After settling in, Abdi realized he had left his laptop charger in his dorm (Shenandoah Building).  Gone approximately seven minutes, the time it might take some to use the restroom or find a book, Abdi returned to find something unexpected.  A girl had taken over the study room, placing all of Abdi’s belongings in the hallway by the door.  Being confused and frustrated with the situation, as many people would be, Abdi opened the door to the study room and asked the girl what was going on.  The girl replied that she noticed he had gone away and she needed the room, and therefore took it.  Abdi responded with a justified, “What the f**k?”  Abdi explained to the girl that he had only been gone seven minutes and that it was really unfair for her to just take the study room.  The girl wouldn’t budge.  Abdi, needing to get his work done, then tried to reason with the girl, saying that they both clearly needed to use the room and could possibly share it.  The girl did not like this idea but refused to leave.  Abdi decided not to budge; after all, he had gotten there first and this girl was clearly breaking the unspoken student code of courtesy.  When Abdi refused to leave, the girl decided to call Mason Police.  While Abdi and the girl waited for the police to arrive, the girl expressed her dislike of “foreigners,” referring to Abdi’s accent, saying how her father was a Federal police officer, and that she intended on getting him into a lot of trouble.  She also told him he ought to go back to his country.  Abdi felt like the girl was capable of making up information, based on her intentions and what she had relayed to the dispatcher.  In an attempt to avoid any further possible prosecution, Abdi got up, opened the door, and put the deadbolt out, to prop the door open, so it was obvious to everyone passing by that the door was not locked.  The girl then called Mason Police again, saying that he had actually locked her in the room and therefore was escalating the situation. Abdi stated later that on the dispatch recording of the message, he could be heard in the background repeatedly saying, “You are lying.”  Soon after her second call, four officers showed up at the study room.  Abdi pushed the already open door, open more to allow the officers to enter.   Officer Rapoli, badge 41, stood in the doorway and started the process by asking the girl what happened. The other officers stayed in the hallway, outside the study room. The girl started explaining the situation.  Abdi pleaded to give his side of the story; upon his third time asking, he was given the chance to speak.  Abdi began to talk and the girl, who had been so cocky before the police arrived, began to cry.  Immediately following, Officer Rapoli asked Abdi to sit outside the study room.   Abdi was unable to see or hear what was going on within the study room, from where he was placed. Officer Rapoli continued to question the girl in the study room.  Abdi expressed his frustration with the situation to the other officers, saying,  “You’ve got to be kidding me; I have a lot of work to do.  I don’t understand why this has happened or why she’s crying.”  Officer VanDoren, badge 14, empathized with Abdi, saying that what they were doing was all procedural.  The officers then asked Abdi to move to a far corner table away from the study room, which he did.  The two other officers assessed the situation and left, responding to another incident, leaving Rapoli interviewing the girl and VanDoren with Abdi.  After a few minutes, Rapoli came over, leaving the girl in the room.  He then told Abdi he had to leave Fenwick Library.  Abdi tried to understand why they had come to this conclusion, asking why he was getting kicked out, when he was there first.  The officers did not answer his questions, replying only with a simple answer of, “You need to leave.”  Abdi began to cry; he explained that the situation was not fair, stating that he, too, was a student here and that it seemed like just because she cried they took her side.   He told the officers, “I don’t think this is right; you haven’t given me a chance to tell my side, and you rushed to this conclusion.”  They were silent.  Abdi then asked to be escorted back to the study room, to get his belongings.  When he entered the room he addressed the girl saying, “You know what you did was wrong; stop making stuff up.”  He also asked the girl never to do what she did to him, to anyone else. The girl remained silent.

Up to this point, Officer Rapoli had really been the one taking charge of the case; he was the one who had been conducting the questions and procedure thus far.  Abdi felt like Officer Rapoli was really the only officer at fault, in how badly the case had been dealt with.  Abdi then asked Officer Rapoli for his information; Rapoli gave him his card.  Abdi then asked Rapoli if he had a supervisor or someone that he could talk to about him (Rapoli).  Rapoli pointed at VanDoren, suggesting that VanDoren was that person.  VanDoren tried to explain the situation to Abdi, telling him that what Rapoli did was right. He never answered Abdi’s question of how this conclusion was fair, though.  Abdi asked, “Why me, though? Why not kick both of us out?” referring to the girl and himself.  VanDoren continued to avoid Abdi’s questions, repeating that Rapoli had acted correctly in the situation.  Feeling like he wasn’t getting anywhere, Abdi stated that he was leaving.  The officers remained upstairs, allowing Abdi to walk himself out, without an escort.  On his way out, Abdi stopped by the info desk, asking the gentleman working, about the library’s policy about study rooms.  The gentleman at the desk did not know of any such policy, but suggested Abdi speak with his supervisor.  The gentleman went to the back, looking for his supervisor, asking others there where she might be, pointing at a still visibly upset Abdi.  He returned, telling Abdi he could wait there for her.  While Abdi was waiting at the information desk, to speak with the library supervisor, the two officers came down the stairs (possibly to exit the building).  VanDoren approached Abdi at the desk saying, “If you had not acted like a little child, we would not have this problem.”  Abdi then asked both officers for their badge numbers, stating he would like to file a complaint.  The officers complied but followed up by saying Abdi must then leave or they would arrest him for trespassing.  Abdi left Fenwick, heading straight for the Police Station, by Rappahannock Parking deck, to file a formal complaint against the two officers.

At the station, Abdi spoke with the chief of operations and explained the situation and how he felt the officers had handled the incident very unprofessionally and unfairly – not listening to both sides, forcing him to leave, etc.  The supervisor agreed that the officers should not have acted in this way and were wrong in their decision to force Abdi to leave.  The supervisor then asked Abdi what could be done to make him “feel better,” about the situation.  Abdi explained that he felt like both officers owed him an apology, for the way they conducted themselves and treated him, and they needed to make sure that they would not act this way in the future.  The supervisor then called both officers in, standing back and having Abdi explain to them why he was there and what issue he had with them.  Abdi explained that he felt like they did not handle the situation well; they violated his rights as a student, didn’t listen to both sides, rushed through the process and settled on an unfair conclusion.  Abdi finished stating, “I believe you owe me an apology.”  Both Officer Rapoli and Officer VanDoren refused to apologize.  The officers exited the room, leaving Abdi with the chief of operations. Abdi asked him, “If I were to file a complaint, who would it go to?”  The chief explained that it would come back to him.  Abdi felt like he could get no further at the police station.  He thanked the chief of operations for his help and asked to leave.  Abdi had gotten a few steps away from the station when he realized he didn’t know when he was allowed to go back to Fenwick.  He decided to go back in and ask.  When he re-entered the station and walked into the lobby, he found VanDoren laughing and speaking with the secretarial staff, behind the counter.  The woman, who had directed Abdi to the chief of operations before, approached the window.  Abdi explained to her he didn’t know how long he had to wait to go back to the library.  VanDoren, overhearing the conversation, stopped laughing and came to the window.  Abdi asked VanDoren when he was able to return to the library.  VanDoren said, “Couple hours.”  Abdi suggested that his answer was too vague and asked VanDoren to be more specific.  “Not ’til tomorrow,” VanDoren replied.  Abdi then asked to get it in writing.  VanDoren then came into the lobby, where Abdi was standing.  VanDoren then said Abdi needed to leave; otherwise he would arrest him for trespassing.  Abdi explained, “All I want is for it to be in writing, so that I can have proof of it when I meet with Dean of Students.” “You’re right,” VanDoren said, “Now I’ll make sure you’re given one year away from the library.” “That’s fine as long as it’s in writing,” Abdi replied.  VanDoren went back into the conference room, where Abdi had met with the chief of operations and the two officers.  A few moments later, Abdi was called back into conference room, where his picture was taken and he was given a citation for trespassing, which he signed.  The trespassing citation stated Abdi could not enter Fenwick library for the next two weeks, which is the maximum suspension time from the library, not the one year VanDoren had been so adamant about giving him.

Abdi left the police station, heading to the Dean’s office, where he met with Carrie Klein to talk about his incident.  Abdi stated that Ms. Klein was very helpful and directed him to the office of Senior Vice President, Maurice Scherrens, who is apparently the “only one above the police,” according to Ms. Klein. Abdi walked over to Mr. Scherrens’ office, but he was unavailable to meet at that time, so Abdi scheduled an appointment to meet with him on Friday evening.

Abdi then returned to Shenandoah 3rd, where he is a Resident Advisor.  He wrote down the incident play-by-play and saved it, to send to his supervisor.  He spoke with one of his suitemates and explained the whole crazy ordeal.  Abdi decided to try and get some work done on the research paper he had attempted to work on in Fenwick earlier that afternoon.  He set up in the floor study room.  Three or four hours after the incident at Fenwick (around 6:30 PM), Officer Rapoli and Officer Ross arrived at the study room. The officers entered the study room. Officer Rapoli said, “I’m sorry; I should have done this earlier.”  Abdi recalled thinking, perhaps Rapoli had returned to apologize, but Rapoli finished by saying, “But now I’m here to arrest you.”  Rapoli showed Abdi the warrant, just enough to see his name on it.  Abdi, confused about why he was being arrested asked, “For what?” Officer Rapoli replied, “Abduction,” which is a felony in the Commonwealth of Virginia.  Abdi looked around the study room, “Who did I abduct?”  The officers did not respond.  Abdi asked, “Can I take my stuff to my room?” “No you can’t,” Rapoli insisted.  Abdi then turned around and was put in handcuffs.  While being cuffed, Rapoli asked if it was all right if Abdi’s roommate came and took his stuff.  Abdi wondered how Rapoli knew he had a roommate at all, but said it was fine.   After he cuffed Abdi, he searched him.  Officer Ross suggested she call Abdi’s RD to take the stuff.  That was the last time Abdi would see Officer Ross.

Officer Rapoli walked Abdi down the hall, telling him, “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law,” but that was all.  Rapoli took Abdi to the police car parked outside by the Shenandoah lecture room.  Although he already searched Abdi inside the building, Officer Rapoli leaned Abdi up against the car, facing the back window and searched him again.  While “searching” him, Rapoli tightened the cuffs, enough to cause pain and twisted Abdi’s left hand.  Abdi let out a gasp, expressing the pain he was experiencing, but said nothing else.  He felt as if Officer Rapoli was provoking him, trying to make him react and escalate the situation – perhaps then they’d have a real reason to arrest him.  In the car, Abdi asked again, “Who did I abduct?” Rapoli replied, “From earlier today.” That was the extent of the conversation on the ride over to the Fairfax Adult Detention Center.

In front of the Magistrate, Abdi told Rapoli it was officers, like him, that made him want to be a lawyer even more.  Abdi stated, “When I become a lawyer I will make sure officers like you are taken off the force.”  “Oh yeah?” Rapoli remarked, “We’ll see about that.”

Wednesday, March 9, 2011, after seventeen hours in jail, Abdi was released on a $2,500 bond.  When he was released he headed back to school to speak with his supervisors, get answers, and meet with anyone who could help.  Upon returning to his room, he charged his phone and noticed a voicemail from the day before.  His suitemate, who had heard all about the incident, the day before, had called, minutes before his arrest.  The suitemate stated that Officer Rapoli had stopped by “to apologize for earlier.”  When Abdi wasn’t in his room, his suitemate had suggested he might be in the study room.

Abdi met with Maurice Scherrens on Friday, after having his judicial on campus, Thursday.  He will not know the school’s decision about the case for, at least another week, once all participants have been questioned.  He has had no luck in getting the charges dropped or having any action be taken against the officers involved.  Additionally, Abdi has still not been informed of his accuser.  The official trial will be held on April 6, 2011 at 2:00 PM in Fairfax General District Court.

From working on a research paper in Fenwick library to Fairfax Adult Detention Center, Abdirashid Dahir’s life changed in an instance.  Since the incident, Abdi has been prohibited from entering his building, as a precaution to the community, leaving him homeless and at the mercy of off-campus friends with open couches.   Abdi is also unable to work and complete his duties as an RA until the incident is cleared, which was sanctioned by the Office of Housing and Residence Life.  However, despite the danger he may pose in his residence hall, Abdi is still allowed to attend classes.  The incident has cost him valuable time and energy that could have been spent studying, which was his initial intention.  It is clear that his rights as a student, a citizen, and as a human being have been compromised.  Justice has not been served.  The underlying ethnocentric discrimination and lack of equal opportunity is unacceptable.

For a university who so proudly flaunts its openness to diversity and international students, we really missed the mark on this one.  GMU PD has a history of mistreatment and unanswered complaints.  It makes me wonder whether a hate crime has been committed against Abdi.  I remember as a freshman, attending Freshman Convocation on move-in day, seeing a man wearing a sandwich board with the words “Fairfax Police Hate Black People,” written on it.  Abdi is a black, Somalian, Muslim; did he get fair treatment or is this a hate crime perpetrated by another student and exacerbated by the actions and inactions of the George Mason police?

As classmates, educators, counselors, advisors, students, residents, coworkers – fellow Patriots, we need to band together and insist justice be served.  How can we take ourselves seriously if a school, that is “committed to providing equal opportunity and an educational and work environment free from any discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, disability, veteran status, sexual orientation, or age,” can’t even manage to do just that?

Please pass this along to anyone who may be interested or may be able to help Abdi and students like him.

~~~

If you feel like contacting the school, a list of administration officials can be found here.

UPDATE (3/14/11 10:52pm):
Due to the types of comments being submitted, I feel I should remind/inform readers that all comments are reviewed before being published. Profanity, mean-spirited remarks, anonymous criticism, blatant advertising and posting of personal information for any parties involved not provided by those individuals will not be published.

I woke up exhausted, cold and with a bit of a headache. Like most mornings when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, I turn on my iPod to connect with the world, check my email, maybe watch a TV show before heading downstairs for food. My twitter feed started out like normal – local news, a North Carolina concert announcement from Live Nation about Prince and then there it was – The earthquake that rocked Japan, sending a tsunami to Hawaii and the California coast. Then I turned on my phone to find a text from my mom that my cousin’s husband died last night.

Suddenly my crap didn’t seem so important.I’ve tried to use this blog to talk about a lot of things. Primarily the progress of my job hunt, but also as a venue to share my thoughts anything that comes to mind. It feels weird putting my thoughts out here for anyone to read, particularly when I try to be a bit more serious, but I was told a long time ago that sometimes just the act of writing your thoughts down can be freeing. Like putting down something you’ve been carrying for way to long.

I’ve never had it so bad that I had to rely on someone else to buy food or have shelter. Since I left for college, I did everything I could to pay my way. Since I decided to go full time with graduate school, it’s been hard getting back into the work force and it’s causing me to face the fact that things are not the way I want them. But they’re also not as bad as they could be.

Example:
Before lunch, I went to the post office to buy stamps so I could mail a ‘thank you’ card to the gentleman I interviewed with on Tuesday. I grabbed my iPod, got into my car, adjusted the heat (cold out) and left. Along the way I stopped at Massage Envy to reschedule my appointment and change it to a couple’s massage. Then I got back into my car and went to the Post Office. where used my credit card to buy the stamps. I mention all of this – iPod, car,  massage appt, & credit card – because as I sat at a light listening to a sad song by Christian Kane I saw the homeless man. He looked to be in his 50s-60s (could’ve been the beard) and he held a sign while the cars sat waiting. With the light green, he closed his sign and moved back to the grass by the road.

My fiancee and I live with my eldest brother in the same town as my middle brother and mom. I have several friends here, and even a friend that could be a considered a pseudo-surrogate mom. I have family that lives 3hrs away in my home town of landlocked Roanoke, Va. If I run out of money before I find work, I will be provided for. I will have a  roof over my head and food in my stomach. I will go see movies and have the occasional dinner out. Things will be tighter and tougher, but I will not be living on the street. It’s all about perspective.

So as families around the world try to reach their loved ones in Japan, terrified that theirs are one of the hundreds lost – it’s about perspective. As my cousin begins making funeral plans for the husband she’ll never sleep next too – it’s about perspective. As I hear my loving fiancee talk on the phone downstairs or our 1yr puppy snoring behind me on our bed, I try to remember that it’s about perspective. It’s about what we do while we can, and also what we do for others.

So with only my voice to give, here is some helpful information concerning the tsunami:
* You can donate to the Red Cross at sending a text to 90999 to make a $10 donation to Japan.
* Register with or check the Safe & Well listing they have created to let others know you’re ok or to check on people you think are missing.
* Contact the US State Department at 1-888-407-4747 or 202-647-5225 for inquiries on US citizens living/traveling in Japan

Weird way to start a post, I concur, but I use it for two reasons: 1) the song from Tron: Legacy inspired by the term is a favorite and 2) death doesn’t mean the end of all things, just the end of something. Whether human life or that of a computer program, all things are energy and energy never dies.

If you’ve been following my blog for the last year or so then you know that I left my job at CBS Radio in September of 2009 to finish graduate school full time. I’ve kept busy since then with consulting work, an internship and volunteering, but otherwise my days have been filled with job hunting, wedding planning and going to the gym. On the positive side, unemployment as given me the freedom to take the reigns with wedding planning and enabled me to stretch my event planning muscles in ways I haven’t done in YEARS.  Next weekend we head to Roanoke and will hopefully walk away with a venue, caterer + menu, baker and photographer! And now I also have the time to focus on getting healthy as working AND going to grad school full time didn’t really let me exercise. Using my high school buddy’s Labor Day 2010 wedding as the excuse and taking inspiration from the guy who lost 120lbs running, I started last March to shed some pounds. Since then I’ve lost about 40lbs and I’m another 10lbs from my goal. The best part, it’s really helped increase the benefits of the rehab I went through after the accident in 2006. My ability to twist, lift, walk, stand, etc was incredibly reduced after the accident, so I got kinda big. Big for me, anyway. And seeing myself in photos after my engagement, I just wasn’t happy. But now my movement has increased, I can walk longer (run slightly), and I’m holding around 185lbs! With 7-months to go, I think I can do this.

As for the job hunt: if you read my last post “No Bro Code In Job Hunting” then you know my thoughts on the entire process. It’s hopeful, but ultimately about the chemistry. It’s either there or not. More local job postings have appeared in my field of interest since January, which is great, yet the answers have been mostly the same – “thank you for your interest, BUT…” That response would make anyone, similar to dating, think about giving it up for a little while. Trying doing the solo thing, but I like working in a team environment. I like going into an office. Most importantly, I’m about to start a family and the weight of it is beginning to wear.

Personally, I’m all for equality. I don’t think that if two people have the same qualifications and are doing the same job, that one person should not get paid more than the other. If our lifestyle and responsibilities allowed us to, I’d happily be a stay-at-home Dad and take care of the kids I will one day have.

Reality dictates, however, that I need to get back to work.

Recently I re-found a digital agency, Modea, in Blacksburg, Va (located 45min from my hometown) with a surprising client list and numerous glowing reviews online. Their employees tout the company’s belief that individual success is tantamount to the company’s success and that digital marketing isn’t just about selling consumable materials, but also about ensuring good works. I’ve longed for an environment like this and never imagined that I would find it so close my old home. Luckily they reached out and I had a phone interview Tuesday last. If I progress in the process, I face 1-2 more phone interviews before I meet them in-person. If selected, I will take part in a 3-month trial in which I will work full-time in multiple departments to learn the ins-and-outs of the agency, while they learn what I can do and, most importantly, where I might fit. Ideally I don’t want to be a part from my fiancee or our furry “daughter” for 3-months, but for the opportunity to work with people that really seem to get what digital communication is about – connection, positive impact, employee support – and with $600 left in the bank, I’ll do whatever it takes. I have family I can stay with nearby or an old friend who lives 2-3 blocks away from the office who has a spare bedroom. The job equals hope right now, and I can’t stop checking my phone and e-mail for any potential missed messages. With SXSW starting tomorrow, and I know the gentleman I interviewed with is going, the wait for contact may be long, but that’s ok. Right now, I have hope.

I’ve also been applying for other jobs, some local some not, as I’m not ready to put all my eggs in one basket. But of the companies and marketing agencies I’ve applied too, only three have gotten me so jazzed by the prospect of going to work there that I started apartment hunting and putting together moving plans. I’ve even sent out some feelers for volunteer work at places like the Asheville ActionFest next month, but soon, I fear, I may have to apply for jobs just to maintain rather than because they excite me, push me or enable me to be a part of something great. My fiancee and I aren’t “money” people, but it would sure be nice to get by just a little easier. And if it means being “on my own” for a few months so that I can ease her burden, I’ll do it.

No matter what happens, life keeps moving forward. It never stops whether you get derezzed or not. And even if you do, the energy keeps moving. So the key is to keep moving. Sure, one path may get blocked or rocky, but never do they just end. Nothing ends.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: bring it. Life kinda sucks, but let’s do this. Whether it be through internships or volunteer work, just bring it. I’m ready.

Video (Clip) of the Week
“Dream Sequence: Zombie Apocalypse” from the episode “Bombshells” – House, Monday at 8p on Fox

Rules of being a "Bro"

So what is The Bro Code and what does it have to do with all this? The Bro Code is an invented set of rules and regulations created by fictional character, and perpetual lothario, Barney Stinson of CBS’s How I Met Your Mother. The “Code” is intended to help “Bros” know how to behave with other “Bros” when it comes to women. For example, article 87 – “A Bro shall at all times say ‘Yes’” – meaning that if 1 “Bro” is trying to pick up a woman, the other “Bro” must always support whatever the first “Bro” says, even at the risk of incurring shame or public embarrassment.  Or article 29 – “A Bro will in a timely manner alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.” This one is self-explanatory. (They can’t all be winners, but you get the idea.)*

While these rules of comportment might help one “Bro” in his quest to woo a lady, there are no real rules for job hunting. And as someone who’s been searching for nearly a year and a half, rules would help. It does seem, though, that the similarities between the “rules” of getting a date are quite similar to those of finding employment.

Dating and job hunting seem to follow a similar path:

1. Research
2. Preparation
3. First Impressions
4. Follow-Up
5. Consummation

1) Research
When trying to find someone to date you first need to determine where you want to look. At work? At a club? Through a friend? Or perhaps through a hobby/social group? You need to figure out first where you’re going because that will help you to determine the type of potential mate you’ll meet. Meeting at work is convenient, but can be treacherous. Club people might only be interested in having fun. Friends provide initial recon and recommendations. Organized groups mean that you’ll meet someone with similar interests. Finding open positions is much like this. The tools you use will determine the results – LinkedIn is a great professional resource due to its networking capability, but not all jobs get posted there and there is no reason for people to help a job seeker just because you know their uncle/cousin/mother/old boss/hairdresser. Knowing people is still a HUGE way of getting a foot in the door. People know what you’re capable of and the personal touch never hurts. Another great way to do research is by joining groups or organizations within the industry you want to work. It’s all the networking of LinkedIn with the personal touch of a friend or colleague. In these settings you can share ideas, converse freely with multiple potential “partners” and see what kind of connections you can make.

2) Preparation
So you’ve done your research using Google, Indeed, LinkedIn, etc and you’ve found where the jobs are that you’re interested in. Maybe you got to meet a few people along the way – Bonus – and now you need to put yourself out there. You wouldn’t head out to a date without knowing where you were going, what type of food your date likes, or having a plan for the evening, right? The same goes for job hunting. Since you know what companies you’re interested in, look them up. What projects are they working on? Who are the members of their team and where do they come from? Are they having a good Quarter? Year? What openings do they have and where do you think you fit? You want to know the type of company you’re applying for before beginning the application process. Maybe your professional ideology conflicts with theirs. Maybe you don’t want to move from one coast to the other. Maybe what you’ve heard and read doesn’t match up to what you find for yourself. It’s good to have this information, so that if/when you get in front of them, you appear ready for anything.

3) First Impressions
How you present yourself the first time will make a world of difference in every meeting in every moment of your life. While dating is EEO, potential partners, like employers, have their own rules for determining what makes for an attractive “mate”.  In most cases, Human Resource professionals are the first people that you’ll interact with at a company, even if it’s merely through your application, cover letter or resume. They look at it and determine if you’re a good fit for their needs. Are the correct keywords present? Does the resume have an appealing design? What exactly is a “Graphical Archeologist Digital Disco Ninja” and what can they do for the company? So before you even meet face-to-face, you may be deemed unworthy. Even for something as simple as unemployment.

Unemployment can be a deal breaker in a social setting, but usually a reason can be given before being written off by a potential mate. Maybe you’re taking time off to write a novel. You might have been going to school full-time and couldn’t work at the same time. You might even have been taking care of a sick relative. In today’s world, though, the fact that you may not have a job could prevent you from getting one.

If you do make it through HR and in front of a prospective employer, you run the risk of being judged on your appearance and weight. Is it any surprise that attractive people are more likely to be hired? Nope. No more so than it’s surprising that attractive people find attractive mates. But what is attractive? From a sociological perspective, when seeking a mate, it’s based upon what one person thinks is attractive. But when I look for work, it should be about my qualifications. Not if I weigh 220lbs or 188lbs. Unless my job requires that I hunt for the survival of my “pack”, my qualifications should make me attractive. Much like dating, it’s these first impressions that can make or break you. Maybe, like me, you’re not the most attractive guy out there, but if you’re prepared and have a great attitude/personality, you just might get in there.

4) Follow Up
Now you’ve met someone. You go out, you have a great time. When do you call? Some would say three days. Some say two or five days. Some don’t care. You want to let them know how much fun you had and your desire to do it again. Pretty simple, but the overtones are dreadful and exasperating. You don’t want to appear needy, desperate or overly excited. So how do you do it? You don’t send a text or an e-mail, you call, right? As a job seeker it’s recommended that you send a hand-written letter. Formal, sure, but it sends a message. I think, though, that the manner of the follow up should be in-line with the industry you’re trying to join. If the person you’ve gone out with is allergic to flowers, don’t send roses. If they hate American Idol, don’t send them a YouTube clip of your favorite performance. If the job you want is in the tech/social media arena, a tweet or email might work. If it’s a law firm or governmental position, yeah – go with the letter.

But when do you do it? Right after the interview? Wait a week? Two? Following up is important no matter what. It shows continued interest, seeks to keep who you are fresh in the mind of the employer, and is generally the polite thing to do.

5) Consummation
This works one of two ways. Either you get the job or you don’t. In dating terms, it either works out or it doesn’t. Sometimes you make it through and sometimes you don’t. In these economic times we can’t assume that there are “plenty of fish in the sea” because it’s a lie. Plenty of job seekers, too few employers. So you do your best, present yourself in the best way you can and hope for the best.

I am fortunate that I haven’t had to worry about getting a date in over six years, and come next October, never again. I wasn’t very good at getting dates. I was always clueless of what to do about the girls I did like, and almost certainly never noticed when girls liked me. I’ve seen me and frankly, personality seems to be my strongest feature. So it was with great relief when I found someone who dug me for my personality, but also the way I look in my jeans. It meant I didn’t have to search anymore. I didn’t have to build up the courage to talk with girls or go to bars (something I never did anyway). I didn’t have to research, prepare or pretend. I could just be me. But in my hunt for work, even after all this time, I still feel like I’m new at this. The worst part isn’t just not finding a job, but what to do if I didn’t get the job, but find another position equally interesting. Is it safe to go back after the first attempt? Do you re-return? In the dating world it’s not very polite to go after the friend of the person you just tried to date. Doesn’t seem to me that it looks very good when you try to do it while on the job hunt, but it’s something I’ve done and will continue to do. There are just some companies where any foothold will do.

What do you think? Sound about right? Feel free to comment below.

*See Season 3, Episode 17 “The Goat” for the first appearance of The Bro Code.

Video (Clip) of the Week
“Desperation Day” – How I Met Your Mother, Monday at 8p on CBS

Geeky guy works at a Best Buy-like store with his high school best friend, gets all the combined secrets of the US Military downloaded into his brain, and for four seasons he has used this information to help take down bad guys. Insert nerd references to video games, movies, and other forms of celebrated (or obscure) Geekdom and serve!

Nerd Herd by Day, Spy by Night.

Now that you’re caught up…

“Chuck Versus the Push Mix” (this week’s Video of the Week) was originally intended as the Season Finale for Season 4 until NBC ordered 11 additional episodes; as such, the entire episode wrapped up every storyline that had been building the entire season. In the episode, Chuck’s sister Elle is expecting to go into labor. Being the good brother that he is, he puts together a CD (a “Push Mix” to play in the room to help make the experience easier. We never find out what’s on the CD, but it got me thinking about all of the amazing music that has been used on the show. Thus far, no official soundtrack for the show has been released, and after 3.5 Seasons, putting one together would not be an easy task. With the help of Chucktv.net, I went through all of the songs used in Season 4 and put together a mix all my own.

I give you Don’t Freak Out: Chuck Versus the Music Mix.

Tracklist

1. Generator ^ First Floor/Freelance Whales
2. Young Blood/The Naked & Famous
3. Hiding Place/Aushua
4. Silvia/Miike Snow
5. A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard/Jeremy Messersmith
6. Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks/The National
7. Dead Man’s Party/Oingo Boingo
8. Don’t Shoot (I’m A Man)/Devo
9. Midnite Runaround/Pop Levi
10. We’re Here to Save the Day (featuring Asher Roth)/The Constellations
11. Evacuate the Dancefloor/Cascada
12. Bad Romance/Lady Gaga
13. The Boogie Monster/Gnarls Barkley
14. Feed My Frankenstein/Alive Cooper
15. Woman/Wolfmother
16. In Response/Peter Wolf Crier
17. Beat the Devil’s Tattoo/Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
18. Howlin’ For You/The Black Keys
19. AM/FM Sound/Matt & Kim
20. Got A Nerve/Grand Vanity

What would you want to hear on the penultimate Chuck mix? “Short Skirt/Long Jacket” by Cake for sure. The Teddybears “Cobrastyle“, definitely. What else?

Video of the Week
“Chuck Versus the Push Mix” - Chuck, Monday at 8p on NBC

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If you liked “A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard”, by Jeremy Messersmith, please go to his website and check out his discography. He has a “pay what you want” approach to getting his music out there. Have to respect and support that.

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[contact-form] )

The Other 100 Greatest Movie Insults

Courtesy of Slashfilm.

Ted: Okay, I’m going to say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I’m waiting for it to happen and I guess I’m just tired of waiting. And that is all I’m going to say on that subject.

Stella: You know how I talked my way out of a speeding ticket?

Ted: Really?

Stella: I was heading upstate with my parents, I was doing 90 on the country roads. I got pulled over. So this cop, gets out of his car, swaggers over and he says, ‘Lady, I’ve been waiting for you all day.’ And I said, ‘Sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could.’

Ted: For real?

Stella: No, it’s just a joke. [pause] I know that you’re tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more but, she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.

Reading the tweets and status updates of friends and family, I suspect that many of them have been waiting for 2011 and all the hope it brings to arrive, and it got it as fast as it could.

It might be weird to say, given everything that’s happened in 2010, but I feel very dissatisfied. I suppose it’s because 2010 ended with promise unfulfilled. I got engaged to my best friend, but due to budgetary restraints and familial issues, the wedding we want may turn into something else. Our wedding date isn’t until the far end of 2011, but the hope we started with last year seems hardly enough for even the strongest of optimists to find a sip in the glass. I also graduated with a master’s in communication from Johns Hopkins, yet I can’t seem to get past intern/volunteer status. I’m not sure if the M.A. has made me over-qualified for the positions I’ve applied for, if I have a warped sense of my qualifications, or if it’s the economy.

But I’ve begun to believe that it’s all trying to get here as fast as it can.

Before I realize it, I’ll be married and the only thing that will matter is that my friend will become my wife. It’s a weird concept for a guy who will spend hours deciding which of the movies on his wall to watch (including various rounds of selection & disqualification) that I’ve found my other half. But this decision is right, and it came to me at the right time, and before I know it, the day will be upon me. Could be in October as planned, then again who knows. That day hasn’t gotten here yet.

As for the job hunt…it is what it is. The only thing I can do is not lose hope. Searching for work can be daunting, but if I haven’t been hired yet, I’m choosing to believe it’s because I haven’t found the RIGHT job. I’ve certainly found some great ones, and I still sting from 1 or 2 missed opportunities, but I’ve marshalled my resources and have a plan of action. With it in place, all I have to do is “wait” for it to get here.

So before the new year begins to feel like the last, I’m going to breathe deeply and remind myself that it will happen in time. I will find a job. I will get married. And it’s all coming as fast as it can.

(Music) Video of the Week
Raise Your Glass, from the album Greatest Hits…So Far by P!nk